Electrical Failure Due To Lack Of Respect

I’m going to miss my ‘stories’. Judge Judy is on in an hour and there is still no clear indication of when the electricity will be back. I have been productive though. I took myself out to lunch at Toto Vietnamese in Victoria Park and then I spent an hour in Crow Books bookshop and found this little gem.

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It’s a graphic novel called ‘The Kurosagi Corpse‘. It came in plastic wrap and intrigued me enough to just buy it on the spot, right there and then, feeding my compulsive hands. Usually I’d have a good flick through to get a gist of what it’s all about but like I said, plastic wrap and opportunity didn’t present itself. Translated from Japanese and described as an “intensely disturbing one-volume story”. It should be good.

Respect.

We don’t get it enough and we certainly don’t give enough of it. I personally feel as though that I give too much of it. Whilst driving, I always try to be courteous let the guy into the lane I’m in, I buy my friends coffee when we catch up, I’m genuinely grateful and I always (for the most part) mind my p’s and q’s.

Lately, I haven’t been so friendly. Maybe I let my ego get the better of me or maybe I’m just sick of the bullshit. I think it’s the latter that describes how I feel the best.

Why should I have to say ‘hello’ first? I can see what the other person is thinking. “Oh, there’s Sibus. She has this big underlining issue with me. Actually I even think she doesn’t like me.” What I’m really thinking is, “You look busy or you’re talking to someone or you’re doing something. I don’t want to interrupt.”

Social gatherings are interesting too. Especially with girls. I went to a gathering thing a few weeks back and I walked up to this girl and said, “Hey, how are you?” In a jovial tone, I was smiling. She pretty much just ignored me and dragged a chair up to a group of other girls (mutual friends) that we were sitting with. It’s not like we didn’t know each other either. I see her at least a couple times a week and we chat. I didn’t think much of it and a week after the fact, I saw her and she came up to me and started talking.

Social situations can be tough to navigate. I’ve noticed that some people get this elitist “I’m better than you” attitude and it’s sad, really. I’ve had a few friends say to me, on separate occasions in their own words, “I just want to quit. I don’t feel like I fit in.”

I don’t have time to talk smack or worry about the things that don’t concern me. I have my own shit going on. It’s time to re-focus, stop worrying about the person next to you and get some goals, yo! GET_SOME_GOALS.

OMG.. Hahahahaha! I’m sitting here, typing away in the dark and thinking that the power still was disconnected when Chups walks in and turns on the light.

It’s TV time. Don’t hate.

Sibus x

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The “Time Filler”

“Trust is like a mirror, you can fix it if it’s broken, but you can still see the crack in that mother fucker’s reflection.” – Lady Gaga

Scenario – You and a friend plan to hang out. Then you get a text stating plans have changed and that your hang out time is now limited because they’ve made OTHER plans to chill with someone else.

Limited hangout time?

Ok. I will admit. I got a bit jealous and pretty much just cancelled the whole thing but you know what, I think I made a fair call.

This is the easiest way I can describe it.

“Hey, I’ve got a spare two hours before I meet someone else. I’m not doing anything if you still want to catch up.”

Translated..

“Hey, you know that catch up. Well, I’m kinda meeting someone else but I’ve got a bit of time for you if you still wanna hang.”

Do you see where I’m going with this?

Our plans have now taken a dive into the back seat of a dirty old bomb that’s been sitting there and rusting for forever in an overgrown field of wheat.

So, now I question the status of our friendship. I thought we were pretty good friends when in actual fact I’m just there until someone else better, more interesting or potential for sex comes along.

I will also admit that I was cut. I was cut pretty deep.

I’ll try to not take it personally but..

In reality, I made it personal and then redirected all calls to my voice mail box that doesn’t exist to avoid any more disappointment.

Today I Realised..

That friendship means nothing to some people and that it sucks the big one.

I need to disconnect. Sad but true.

Sibby.

Hello, ‘Friend.’

Today I realised.. That no matter how much you help a friend out you will never feel appreciated.

You can be the bestest person in whole damn world and people will still be a bit shit. Just remember, it’s not your fault. It’s theirs.

It’s more of a personal issue for me. I can either deal with it or let it get the better of me. Today it’s the latter.

There are three general rules I try follow to make situations like these more palatable.

1. If you lend money or do a favour. Don’t expect it back.

2. Do what is humanly possible to help a friend out because you are a good friend.

3. Keep secrets and watch your mouth. (This one is not a ‘try’. I keep secrets and take them to my grave.)

Seriously. A fucking please and thank you would be fabulous and acknowledge that I helped your sorry ass out.

You’re shit. Sad but true..

Myself At A Distance

I feel. I feel a bit lost today. At first I thought it was because I was hungry but after I ate I still felt the same.

I also have a lot of free time and when this happens I think about everything. This is bad.

I imagine what it would be like to just disappear and become anonymous in a different country. I would become an adventurer and my new friends would also be adventurers. We’d explore the most remote and dangerous parts of the world and then at night we’d sit around the camp fire, share our stories and fall asleep only to wake up to another day of more exploring. I think that this would be extremely amazing.

Then my thoughts become darker..

What would happen if I was dead. There’s a show I’ve been watching called, “Being Human”. I could be like Sally. My only friends would be other ghosts or supernatural beings. I’d possess other people and do what I like. I would be free of the ‘human condition’ and morals? What morals! Things could get crazy, really really crazy. I’m okay with this.

And then.. I start to feel sad.

I’m not ready to leave this life behind, not yet. I will one day but today I’m going to learn a new song. Link is below.