30

In my generation, after my mother and fathers, I am the first grandchild for both their parents.

On my father’s side, I am also the only grandchild my grandfather has ever known. He died from cancer in the same year that I was born.

Sometimes I think that it would have been nice if he was still around.

Thirty.

It’s a fucking horror show out there. I’m talking about a mother effing shitstorm. Thirty year olds all over the world are defacating and building high walls out of poo. I now understand why they call it, The Dirty Thirties.

My google search of advice on “turning 30”, insinuates that I would have clinical depression or I’m SO INSANELY HAPPY! (which is still described as clinical depression). According to one insightful column all I need is,“A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra.” I feel like such a modern woman now. I can drill lots of holes in my walls whilst dancing around provocatively in my underwear. My grandfather would have been so very proud.

Digression..

My mother will probably buy me another dining set, as she has been for the past five years. It’s exciting because I’m sick of eating off the same boring dinner plate. I look forward to more entertaining dinner plate designs.

Hrm.

I don’t have anything profound to say about becoming thirty. I am not, by any means, defined by a number.

You can choose how you live your life. If you don’t like it, then change it. Don’t blame it on anyone else and especially not on something so trivial as a number.

This reminds me of a conversation between a friend and I.

“I don’t believe in parent parking.
It’s not a disability.
It’s a choice!”

Hahahaha! Terrible but also funny.

“Happy THIRTIETH Birthday, Sibby. Aren’t you glad you made it?”

I’m giving the finger to my sixteen year old self, you pessimistic young bastard.

Sibby xx

Growing Down

“Steph, don’t you think it’s time to grow up?”

What does this mean to ‘grow up’? I can deal with being a bit more taller, it would be nice. Maybe I’d be wiser too and possibly grow a long grey beard?

Jokes aside, this is what a friend said to me today and it caught me off guard. I even think I was a bit offended.

Before I get ahead of myself and think dark thoughts of revenge I’d like to ask myself a few questions:

What will I do with my new found ‘maturity’?

My humour would change and my jokes will become more ‘adult’. I’d set aside my appreciation of anti-jokes and achieve a deep sophisticated woman’s laugh.

I have to go now. I’ve just watched a documentary on sharks and it’s very important I tell someone.

Look! Bunny! Happy Easter.