Stalker.

Hey. You.

Thank you, for looking me up on Facebook and WordPress. I just wanted to let you know that, I did read two of the messages you sent me and deleted (without reading) the rest including the comment you posted on my WordPress wall.

Why do insist on making a public spectacle of yourself. Are you a clown?

Anyway. I had considered replying to your first message because you sounded so forlorn and I felt, to be honest, sorry for you. You spent all these years wondering, “What happened?” and “What could have been?” However, after your second message it reminded me of what a puerile human being you were and I decided against it. “Puerile” is a bit harsh, isn’t it?

This morning I woke up an hour early, before the alarm and thought it would a good idea to log onto WordPress and read some of the other WordPress blogs I’ve been following. That’s when I saw your comment and “puerile” was the first thing that popped into my mind.

In your first message, I enjoyed how you were all sympathetic and confused. I must admit, you almost had me there but that was until the auctioneer was just about to beat down his tiny hammer, you sent me your second message. I’m glad you did because who knows, I might have asked you to join me for a coffee and we would have been awkwardly trading stories on what the shits been goin’ down on these last ten or so years.

I showed your message to my friends and they said that I really didn’t need another rock in my shoe no matter how therapeutic I thought it would be for you. This reminds me of a time I went on a school excursion and I forgot my thongs and a  friend lent me her Maseur sandals. We had to walk around this huge man-made dam for what felt like forever and by the end, my feet were killing me. It was a painful experience, much like the coffee we would have had.

Now, I’m going to make reference (again..) to your first message because I feel it is the most relevant. There’s probably a million questions swimming around in your “fish bowl” head.

I will now begin an interview with myself in first person.

Me (being you): “You read my message, why didn’t you reply?!”

Me: “You contacted me using a fake Facebook account. This sent off my alarm bells instantly and while I appreciate your tenacity in going through the process of  making a new email to go with your new Facebook account, I reported you (to Facebook admin) anyway via the clicky report button that they have.”

Me (being you): “Don’t you feel guilty for what ever it is that you did?”

Me: “Do you know what I’ve discovered? Well, I’ve recently found out (and I have you to thank for it) that it’s really really hard to feel apologetic for whatever it is that you’re accusing me of. You had quite a lot to say which is understandable due to my ten year absence in your life. I know you’re just trying to get my attention because you’re all butt-hurt that I didn’t reply to your first message. I accept your apology.”

Me (being you): “So, are you going to reply, ever?”

Me: “That’s a great question! Life’s funny like that isn’t it? Full of unanswered questions. This is one of them.”

Having said all of that, there’s no ‘hating’ on my end.

Learn to be happy, put some of that healthy energy that you have into building up your own family and be grateful for what you already have.

Or, you could get yourself a new hobby.

– S

PS. Oh. Before I forget. Thank you for reading my blog; appreciate the hit.

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Loves Obsession

Without you, I am not myself.

Please stay.

Sibby x

 

Hiding Behind Smiles

Sometimes the easiest things are the hardest to say

Your heart races as he enters the room. The anticipation of seeing him has had you anxious all day. As both your eyes meet, you can feel a smile across your face and your body temperature rising. Your heart is convulsively pounding out of your chest. And then he gives you a smile and you can feel your feet melt into the floor. You don’t know who he is but it takes all your courage to open your mouth and say the word “Hello”.

One year on and the two of you are the best of friends. You’ve had the best time of your life and know you want to spend the rest of your life together. There are smiles, there are tears but you’ve made it through. Your heart is aflutter and smitten. You can’t imagine life without each other and don’t ever want anything to change.

The next few years are idle. The passion has died and your heart doesn’t race quite as much as it use to. You find that tears far outweigh the smiles and arguments have replaced the affection. There is more pressure from life and you’re not sure you want to be together anymore. You’ve come so far, you don’t want to give it up. His heart is closed and yours is shattered. You’re desperate for a change.

Your heart races as he enters the room. The anticipation of seeing him has had you anxious all day. As both your eyes meet, you feel the tears rush out like a river, filling up your eyes. Your heart is in pain and your mind is a mess. You don’t know who he is anymore and it takes all your courage to open your mouth and say the word “Goodbye”.

It’s so hard to say hello for the first time and goodbye for the last, yet it is too easy.

Source: Youtube